The root cause of the conflict between Rick and I was jealousy. Although Rick was almost 40 and had never been married when we met, he was extremely attractive and had a way of connecting with women that made me wonder why he was still a bachelor. What I realized after I got to know him was that Rick fell in love with every woman he met and was unable to commit to being with just one person. If I wanted to be a part of his life, I would have to share Rick with all the other women that loved him just as much as I did.
Like me, Solomon’s lover wanted to be the only woman in his life. She said to him, “Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm” (Solomon 8:6). Women seem to be more inclined toward jealousy and have a hard time accepting the idea that it is possible to love more than one person. Solomon’s lover concluded, “For love is as strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave; the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame” (Solomon 8:6). It is very dangerous to fall in love with a man that cannot be faithful to one woman.
The reason jealousy is as cruel as the grave is because it can separate us from the one we love. When Rick left me, it broke my heart. It felt like I was dead or that I might die because of how miserable I was without him. But, as much as I wanted to be with him, I couldn’t bring myself to the point of accepting that Rick didn’t belong to me. Rick was not a possession, he was a man, free to love whomever he pleased.