A pattern that developed very early in my life was never asking anyone for help. It seems like my attitude has always been, I can do this by myself. When I was married, my husband was in the Marine Corps. Five months after our youngest son was born, he left on a six month deployment overseas. Even though many times I was overwhelmed with the responsibility of three small children, I never once asked anyone for help. Over the course of our 20 year marriage, my husband was gone a total of 7 years, and I can’t remember one time I ever asked anyone for help.
It says in Proverbs 11:2, “When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom.” The word translated lowly, tsâna‘ (tsaw – nah´) means to humiliate (6800). It is referring to the characteristic of humility, not in the sense that one has it, but that it is being developed or formed in a person. Pride and humility are opposites and to a certain extent you could say that as one increases, the other decreases. Therefore, the process of being humbled or humiliated involves the removal of pride and God often uses our shame as a part of the process.
Asking for help may not seem like a humbling experience, but if you are or know of someone that is filled with pride you understand why it is so difficult. At the core of pride is a sense of independence. Being able to take care of myself made me feel secure. In some ways, taking care of myself was a coping mechanism that enable me to survive in what I perceived to be a very dangerous environment, but more than anything else, it kept me isolated and prevented me from being hurt or disappointed by people around me.