Your heart’s desire

“For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness” (Psalm 107:9). “The Hebrew system of thought does not include the opposition of the terms ‘body’ and ‘soul’ which are really Greek and Latin in origin. The Hebrew compares/contrasts ‘the inner self’ and ‘the outer appearance’ or as viewed in a different context, ‘what one is to oneself’ as opposed to ‘what one appears to be to one’s observers'” (5315).

A common question asked of children in the United States is what do you want to be when you grow up. It is assumed that while growing up, children can engage in a process that changes or molds them into what they want to be. I don’t know of any studies that have shown how often children grow up and become what they want, but my  personal experience tells me that it rarely happens. When I was asked that question, I didn’t know what to say, but I know what I became was not what I wanted.

I think children have a tendency to dream or maybe even fantasize about what their life will be like when they are grown up. Then, when they are, they compare their dream to reality to measure their satisfaction with life. In my case, my satisfaction level was zero and that is why I decided to kill myself. The problem in my situation was that I didn’t have anything to compare reality with; I didn’t know what I wanted to be, at least I didn’t think I did.

Because God is our creator, he knows the desires of our hearts. He created us to be something and until we do become what we are meant to be, we will never be satisfied. The Psalmist said in Psalm 107:14, “He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death and break their bands in sunder.” The bands referred to here are restraints or discipline that is meant to keep you going in a certain direction, on a specific course that is not of your own choosing, such as when an animal is harnessed and forced to plow a field.

God’s goal in developing a relationship with us is to satisfy our souls, that which we are to ourselves, the inner self, with goodness. He wants to give us the desires of our hearts. “Therefore he brought down their heart with labour, they fell down, there was none to help. Then they cried unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them out of their distress” (Psalm 107:12-13).

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