love

Made for each other

A central theme in the book of Ruth is relationships. Rather than food or clothing, abundance and loss is measured in the number of relationships one has. When she returns home from Moab, Naomi tells people that she “went out full” because she left with her husband and two sons, but is returning empty because all of them died in the land of Moab (Ruth 1:21). I think it is interesting that even though she brought her daughter in law Ruth back with her, Naomi still considers herself to be empty.

Naomi felt worthless because she didn’t have a husband or sons which were considered to be blessings from God. The quality of her relationships with her husband and sons is unknown, but when Naomi tells her daughters in law to return to the home of their parents, it says in Ruth 1:14 that “they lift up their voices and wept again: and Orpah kissed her mother in law; but Ruth clave unto her.”

The word clave or dâbaq (daw – bak´) in Hebrew is the same word that is used in Genesis 2:24 where is says that a man shall “leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife.” Ruth pleads with Naomi to not make her go back and even goes so far as to say “Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me” (Ruth 1:17). Similar to a marriage vow, Ruth is saying to her mother in law, till death do us part.

Ruth’s devotion does not seem to be of value to Naomi, perhaps because Ruth was a Moabitess, a foreigner and not a blood relative, but her willingness to leave her own country and family to be with Naomi is certainly commendable. Naomi blames her bitterness on God and believes her affliction is from his own hand. Not only does she not recognize Ruth’s value, she is missing the point that God has blessed her with a lifetime partner that is committed to taking care of her in spite of the personal sacrifice that requires.

“And Naomi had a kinsman of her husband’s; a mighty man of wealth, of the family of Elimelech; and his name was Boaz” (Ruth 2:1). The word translated kinsman, yâda‘ (yaw – dah´) means to know (3045). Naomi was related to Boaz by marriage, but what this verse is saying is that Naomi had a relationship with Boaz, she knew him personally. The interesting thing about this is that there is no mention of Naomi ever interacting with Boaz after she returns to Judah. It would seem reasonable for Naomi to contact Boaz, and if he was a wealthy man, to ask for his help, but Naomi doesn’t do that.

One of the Mosaic laws made provision for a widow to glean in the field of another so that she would not go hungry if she had no one to provide for her. Ruth takes the initiative to go into a field where corn is being harvested and by divine providence she ends up in the field of Boaz. During their first meeting, Boaz tells Ruth that he has instructed his men not to have any sexual contact with her. Ruth’s response indicates that what Boaz has done is not typical behavior. “Then she fell on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and said unto him, Why have I found grace in thy eyes, that thou shouldest take knowledge of me, seeing that I am a stranger” (Ruth 2:10).

The fact that Boaz, a mighty man of wealth, would show kindness to a Moabite who is gleaning in his field distinguishes him from not only the typical man, but perhaps any other man in Israel. Ruth describes Boaz’s action by saying that he has comforted her (Ruth 2:13). The word translated comforted, nâcham (naw – kham´) is the same word that is translated repented in Judges 21:15. One way of looking at what Boaz did would be that he gave his strength to Ruth. He attempted to make her feel like she was his equal and he raised her status in the eyes of others.

The reason why Boaz’s action qualifies as repentance is because he did the opposite of what would have been expected under the circumstances in order to achieve a more positive outcome. Boaz could have had Ruth thrown out of his field because she was a foreigner or told his female workers to stay away from her because she would be a bad influence on them. But instead, Boaz tells Ruth to stay close by his maidens, warns his young men not to touch her, and even invites Ruth to sit at his table at mealtime.

At the end of the harvest, Naomi seeks to arrange a marriage between Boaz and Ruth. She instructs Ruth to go to Boaz at night, just before he is laying down to go to sleep. The action Naomi wants Ruth to take is a type of marriage proposal. The way it is being presented to him makes it possible for Boaz to refuse and not embarrass Ruth because he has rejected her.

Ruth’s obedience to her mother in law demonstrates her trust and belief in the Jewish way of doing things. She is no longer acting like a Moabite or following the customs of her people. A clue that Ruth has truly been converted is that her actions are described as showing kindness. The Hebrew word checed (kheh´ – sed) is one of the most important words that is used to convey Old Testament theology (2617). Checed is representative of a deep, loving relationship. The word chesed is meant to convey a strong bond that keeps two people knit together, as in a marriage, but more from love that a legal obligation to stay together. Relationship is the basis for checed and personal involvement is what makes it possible for a person to show the extraordinary kindness that checed implies.

Boaz seems to be caught off guard when he wakes in the middle of the night and finds Ruth lying at his feet. It appears that the thought of matrimony has not crossed his mind, perhaps because as he explains to Ruth, “And now it is true that I am thy near kinsman: howbeit there is a kinsman nearer than I” (Ruth 3:12). When Naomi sent Ruth to Boaz, she knew that he did not have the ability to redeem her as his property. Based on Boaz’s behavior toward Ruth, Naomi may have assumed that he loved her and would want her to be his wife.

Boaz describes Ruth as a virtuous woman (Ruth 3:11). The word translated virtuous, chayil (khah´ – yil) means strength or power (2428). Chayil is often used in a military context and is associated with the word gibbôr (ghib – bore´) to describe a proven warrior (1368). What Boaz may have been implying when he referred to Ruth as a virtuous woman was that she was a good match for him, that they belonged together. Boaz is referred to as “a mighty man of wealth” in Ruth 2:1, which means that he had been successful in battle. Often times warriors took the spoils of their victories and were rewarded for the enemy territories they conquered. If Boaz claimed Ruth as his property, it would likely have established his dominance over her and inhibited her from feeling loved by him. Boaz gave Ruth the impression that she was his equal and her courage in leaving her country and coming to Judah was commendable.

“So Boaz took Ruth, and she was his wife: and when he went in unto her, the LORD gave her conception, and she bare a son” (Ruth 4:13). Boaz and Ruth were the great grandparents of king David. There was definitely a divine purpose for them to be married and have a child, but what stands out in the story of how their relationship developed is the mutual respect and admiration they had for each other. Unlike some of the other couples that contributed to the birth of Jesus, Boaz and Ruth typified the loving-kindness that God shows his children. You could say that Boaz and Ruth were made for each other and their marriage is a testament to God’s ability to work all things together for good “to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

A matter of the heart

The expression, he has a good heart is usually used to describe someone that is kind, thoughtful, and loving toward others. The heart is said to be the seat of emotions and it can be the source of motives, feelings, affections, and desires (3820). It is the heart that enables us to love, and hate, and develop a relationship with God When our heart is wounded, it affects our ability to connect with people and may cause us to turn away from God because we cannot related to him.

A characteristic that is connected to the heart is courage. In one sense, to be courageous means to be strong, whether in physical strength or something called fortitude which is the will to press forward or through with something. There are many accounts of people that have acted courageously and performed supernatural feats to rescue or protect someone that did not have the physical strength to do so.

I think most people assume Samson was a big, burly man that looked like a sumo wrestler or a professional weight lifter. The only thing recorded about Samson’s appearance is that he was a Nazarite from birth and therefore, he never cut his hair. The source of Samson’s strength was unknown to everyone except Samson and perhaps his parents. It is possible that Samson assumed his strength came from being a Nazarite, when in actuality, it was his relationship with God that enabled him to overpower the Philistines and perform mighty acts to defeat them.

To be a Nazarite means to be separated or consecrated to God. It is similar to the virginity of a woman in that virginity is a sign of purity and is intended to keep a woman separated or consecrated to her husband until they are married. In a way, you could say that a Nazarite’s heart belongs to God and he is not free to love anyone else but God during his time of consecration which in Samson’s case was his entire lifetime.

It says in Judges 16:4 that Samson “loved a woman, in the valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah.” Delilah was a Philistine and she agreed to find out the source of Samson’s strength so that the Philistines could bind him and afflict him. “And Delilah said unto Samson, Tell me, I pray thee, wherein thy great strength lieth, and wherewith thou mightest be bound to afflict thee” (Judges 16:6).

The word translated afflict, ‘ânâh (aw – naw´) means to be bowed down, be humbled. ‘Anah often expresses harsh and painful treatment” (6031). One of the ways the word ‘anah is used is to express the act of rape. “To take a woman sexually by force may be ‘to humble’ her” (6031) as was the case with Jacob’s daughter Dinah. It is believed that the Philistines sought revenge against Samson and intended to kill him after a prolonged period of torture. Delilah’s request to know the source of Samson’s strength so that he could be afflicted was a straight forward attempt to take advantage of his love for her and to determine if he was even willing to die for her.

Isaiah 53:3-4 says of the Messiah “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief…Yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.” Jesus also told his followers that they would be delivered up “to be afflicted” and would be hated by everyone in the world because they identified themselves with his name.

Not many people would agree that if you are a Christian, you should expect to be afflicted, to receive harsh and painful treatment for no reason other than you are a follower of Jesus Christ. Perhaps you have taken a vow of chastity and are being tormented by your friends because you won’t do what everyone else is, having sex outside of marriage. The most common group of women to be targeted by sexual predators is young virgins who will experience rape as their first sexual encounter with a man.

When Samson’s soul was vexed unto death by Delilah’s daily pleading and nagging, he finally “told her all his heart” (Judges 16:17). Immediately, Delilah called the Philistine leaders and told them Samson’s weakness had been revealed.

After Samson is imprisoned by the Philistines, he seeks one last opportunity to gain strength so that he can be avenged. He prays that God will remember him and strengthen him. Samson’s two-fold request indicates that he is no longer relying on his Nazarite vow for power. The interesting thing about Samson’s prayer is that the LORD didn’t answer it. It is believed that Samson was able to topple the house where three thousand Philistines were gathered because his hair had begun to grow back while he was in prison. But, I think it is more likely that Samson’s courage returned because he sought to restore his relationship with the LORD.

The word used for strength in Samson’s prayer, châzaq (khaw – zak´) is the same word that was used when the LORD said he would harden Pharaoh’s heart so that he would not let his people go. Samson knew that he sinned by telling Delilah all that was in his heart. It says in Judges 16:20 that Samson thought he would be able to escape like he had at previous times, but “he wist not that the LORD was departed from him.” Samson was on his own when he suffered torture at the hands of the Philistines and his desire to be avenged had nothing to do with God’s plan to deliver the Israelites from Philistine rule. His heart was hardened after being afflicted and he thought the LORD had left him for good. He wanted to die because the sorrow and pain in his heart were too much for him to bare.

In the last moments of his life, Samson reached out to God and God was there, just not in the way Samson expected him to be. God didn’t harden Samson’s heart, he gave him courage. I think Samson believed he was forgiven and would be able to bring down the house with his bare hands. “And he bowed himself with all his might; and the house fell upon the lords, and upon all the people that were therein” (Judges 16:30).

Why me?

If you have ever thought, why me?, relative to God’s blessings in your life, you are probably a recipient of grace and can think of yourself as one of God’s chosen people. The word translated grace in Judges 6:17, chên (khane) means kindness or favor. In English, to show grace to someone would be equivalent to saying I like you or I love you.

A better way to understand grace is to put it in the context of the phrase in which it usually occurs, “grace in thy sight” (Judges 6:17). Looking at it this way, it is clear that it has something to do with God watching over his children. One of the characteristics of being in love is that you can’t take your eyes off the person, whenever he walks into the room, you immediately notice him and in a room full of people, he is the one that you pay attention to. To have grace in God’s sight means that he is paying special attention to you and is constantly watching you to make sure you are okay.

There are few people in the Old Testament of the Bible that received grace in God’s sight. Along with Noah and Abraham, Gideon is recorded as a recipient of God’s favor. Grace is neither earned or deserved, it is merely a result of the fact that God wants to bless people and looks for opportunities to do so. I sometimes wonder if I had anything at all to do with becoming a member of God’s family and the only thing I have been able to come up with to explain it is that I was a complete failure and had no hope of ever changing.

When the LORD looked upon Gideon and said, “Go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the hand of the Midianites” (Judges 6:14), Gideon’s response was “my family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house” (Judges 6:15). Gideon did not understand why God would want to use him and felt he was the least qualified person to lead God’s people to victory, but God’s grace was all he really needed and it was obviously enough because it says when the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said to him, “The LORD is with thee, thou mighty man of valour” (Judges 6:12).

The word translated valour, chayil (khah´ yil) refers to power that is obtained through position, such as those that are a part of the upper class of society, or through wealth. Gideon’s recognition and acknowledgement that his family had no money and he was in the lowest position in the family indicates that he was a recipient of grace, there is no other way the angel’s statement could have been true. It is no wonder Gideon asked for a sign that God’s grace was really his, something he could rely on, it was truly unbelievable that he would lead the Israelites to victory against the Midianites.

I still love you

If you have your eyes closed, how close does someone have to be for you to sense his presence? I cannot see God, but there are times when I can feel his presence. Part of what affects my awareness of someone’s presence is my feelings toward that person. In particular, fear and love have a strong baring on whether or not I will be affected when someone gets close to me.

In Joshua’s final address to Israel, he reminds the people that they must remain close to God, “But cleave unto the LORD your God, as ye have done unto this day” (Joshua 23:8) and warns them against letting their affection toward God diminish because they are living among foreigners. “Take good heed therefore unto your selves, that ye love the LORD your God, else if you do in any wise go back, and cleave unto the remnant of these nations, even these that remain among you” (Joshua 23: 11-12).

The word translated cleave, dâbaq (daw – bak′) means to keep close and is the same word that is used in Genesis 2:24 where it says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife.” It appears there is a connection between love and cleaving to someone because Joshua tells the Israelites to love the LORD and cleave to him rather than the foreigners that are living among them.

When my love for the Lord is strong, it seems like I am more aware of his presence. It’s as if the stirring of my heart tells me he is near. The only way I can control my emotions when I am in love with someone is to either constantly be with that person or to try and not think about him at all. The feeling of love is very powerful and it tends to be an all or nothing emotion in that you can turn it on and off, but you cannot regulate its strength or duration. The thing I have learned about keeping my love for the Lord strong is to never turn it off. It is much easier to stay in love than it is to fall back in love after you have stopped loving someone.