God’s will

Willpower

I think there comes a time in every Christian’s walk with the Lord when our will and God’s will are opposed to each other. Because we have free will, God does not overrule us. In fact, if we insist on having our own way, God allows us to do what we want, he does not stand in our way. The biggest mistake I’ve ever made occurred because I thought I knew better than God what was best for me. I thought I would be better off living the rest of my life by myself rather than staying married to the father of my children.

Proverbs 18:2 says, “a fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself.” The word translated discover, gâlâh (gaw – law´) means to make oneself naked in a disgraceful sense (1540). This term is associated with exile because captives were usually stripped before they were taken into captivity. When the Israelites went into captivity, they lost control of the land God had given them and were forced into pagan worship. Galah can also apply to the “revealing” of secrets and of ones innermost feelings. In this sense, galah refers to the revealing of our will, the intentions of our hearts.

I didn’t divorce my husband because he cheated on me, lied to me, or broke my heart. I divorced my husband because I didn’t believe God could change him. I had been praying for his behavior to change for many years and instead of it getting better, it kept getting worse, so I finally gave up. I wanted a husband that would love me, but what I didn’t know was that the problem wasn’t him, it was me. I was ashamed of being raped and felt he deserved to be with someone better than me.

 

Happiness

Before I retired, I worked for a large manufacturing company. I had no interest in working in a factory, but I felt very strongly that it was the Lord’s will for me to take the job. During the first few weeks, I cried everyday on my way to work. It felt like I had been thrown into the lion’s den and was going to be devoured by the cruelty of the people around me. Whenever I smiled at someone as I walked through the hallways, I got a blank stare in response. It was as if I was an alien creature and was invading their workplace.

It says in Proverbs 15:3, “The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.” The word translated place, mâqûwm (maw – kome´) is derived from the word quwm (koom) which means to rise. “Sometimes quwm is used in an intensive mood to signify empowering or strengthening…It is also used to denote the inevitable occurrence of something predicted or prearranged” (6965). The word translated beholding, tsâphâh (tsaw – faw´) means “to lean forward, i.e. to peer into the distance, by implication to observe, wait…to watch with a purpose” (6822).

It’s difficult to explain how getting out of the will of God can actually result in getting into the will of God, but when you are a Christian, it seems like every corner you turn, God is there waiting for you. It is impossible to get away from him. I believe God led me to work at a place that seemed to be void of Christians so that I could see what my life would be like without him. In the midst of my misery, I drew closer to him and realized that God was my only hope for real happiness in life.

The Fool

One of the things I’m really good at is planning. I’m not the kind of person that likes to fly by the seat of my pants. I rarely do anything without first having a plan in place. When I got married, I planned to have a big family. I thought having 12 kids would be really cool. The only problem was my husband didn’t want any children and I failed to consult God about the matter. Instead, I plunged ahead, thinking my plan was a good one, I just needed to get my husband on board with it.

It says in Proverbs 12:15, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth to counsel is wise.” There are several variations of the word fool in the Bible. In this particular instance, the fool is someone that twists God’s ways into his own (191). The basic meaning of the word translated right, yashar is “‘to be straight’ in the sense of ‘to be level.’ The Israelites designated an easy road for traveling as a ‘level road.’ It had few inclines and declines compared to the mountain roads” (3477). In some instances, yashar is translated as convenient.

My desire to have a big family was consistent with the Bible, but it was not at all practical from the standpoint of my  family’s lifestyle. My husband’s job in the Marine Corps required him to be away from home for weeks, even months at a time. Once he was stationed overseas for an entire year. As much as I thought it would be easy to have more children, I had no idea how difficult it was for my husband and children to be separated from each other for long periods of time…but God knew, and I didn’t bother to ask him.