Take my life

Family conflict may be the hardest to deal with because it can be very personal. Some family conflicts go on for years, even decades or entire lifetimes. In some instances, conflicts are generational and resolution seems impossible. The Israelites’ family conflict centered around the fact that Jacob had two wives, one that he loved and one that he didn’t. The wife that Jacob loved, Rachel had two sons, Joseph and Benjamin.

When Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, Jacob became so attached to Benjamin that he wouldn’t let him out of his sight. Rachel died giving birth to Benjamin, so his father became his primary parent and no doubt had a strong influence on his personality and character.

The tribe of Benjamin grew very strong in the Promised Land. His favored status in the family may have caused Benjamin’s descendants to become prideful and what my grandma used to call, a little too big for his britches. The men who raped the Levite’s concubine were from the tribe of Benjamin and so there was a confrontation to have the men handed over so they could be punished, but the Benjamites wouldn’t do it and decided to go to war instead.

The children of Benjamin had 26,000 men in their army and “among all this people there were seven hundred chosen men lefthanded: every one could sling stones at a hair breadth, and not miss” (Judges 20:16). The men of the tribe of Benjamin’s army are described as men of valour, which means they were very powerful. They were probably not only physically strong, but smart and able to conduct themselves well in battle. They must have been very confident because “the men of Israel, beside Benjamin, were numbered four hundred thousand men that drew the sword: all these were men of war” (Judges 20:17).

The battle between Benjamin and the rest of the children of Israel lasted three days. The first two days, the Benjamites had the upper hand and killed 40,000 of their brethren. On the third day, God delivered the children of Benjamin into the hands of their brothers, 25,000 men were killed and their cities were set on fire.

The result was the purging of sin from among God’s people. The cost of the battle, 65,000 lives for the rape of one woman, seems rather high, but it demonstrates the importance of holiness to God. It is not surprising then that he gave his only begotten son to cleanse the entire world of all sin. Thank you Jesus!

How low can you go?

It’s not surprising that the low point in Israel’s history, when every man was doing what is right in his own eyes, is marked by the brutal rape of a woman described only as a Levite’s concubine. The event is similar to one that took place in Sodom just before God destroyed the city. It shows that the children of Benjamin, Jacob’s youngest son, had become just like the Canaanites that were still living among them.

The account of what happens sounds like something you would see on a crime show today where the victim is raped and then chopped up into pieces to dispose of the body, except in this instance, the body pieces were distributed throughout the tribes of Israel, one piece for each family member (Judges 19:29).

And it was so, that all that saw it said, There was no such deed done nor seen from the day the children of Israel came up out of the land of Egypt unto this day: consider of it, take advice, and speak your minds.

Doing the right thing for the wrong reason

I think the worst thing a Christian can do is do the right thing for the wrong reason. It seems like if you do the right thing, you should always get a good result, but that is not the case. What is more important than what you do is why you do it. God does not tally up all the good things we do and reward us for our effort; he looks at our heart. God judges the motive behind every action we take and makes sure that bad motives do not produce good results.

I married my ex-husband for two reasons: 1) I was pregnant, and 2) I had no means of supporting myself. I had only been a Christian for a few months. I was still recovering from being abducted and raped by a serial rapist the year before and had overdosed on sleeping pills, so my emotional state was unstable.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that I had completely cut God out of the picture. There was no repentance or asking for forgiveness, just a desperate attempt to fix things and conceal my wrong doing. I thought I was doing the right thing and would be rewarded for my effort, but I had no interest in being married to the father of my child; I just wanted him to take care of us.

It says in Judges 18:30 that the children of Dan worshipped a graven image or false god until the day of their captivity. The word translated captivity, gâlûwth (gaw – looth´) is derived from the Hebrew word gâlâh (gaw – law’) which means “to leave, depart, uncover, reveal” (1540).

The day of my captivity was the day my ex-husband left me for another woman. At that point, I had no one else to rely on but God. I wish I had turned to God sooner, but unfortunately, like the Israelites, I was a stiff-necked, stubborn woman and thought I could take care of my own problems.

“And they set up Micah’s graven image, which he made, all the time that the house of God was in Shiloh” (Judges 18:31). My guess is that Laish, where Micah’s idol was kept, and the house of God in Shiloh were not that far apart in distance. It was probably not for convenience that the Danites wanted to worship at home rather than going to the Tabernacle. The Tabernacle was where you went to acknowledge your sin, and like me, the children of Dan wanted to keep that a secret.

Twisted Religion

There was a time in my life when I thought going to church every week was all that mattered. If I read my Bible everyday and listened to a Christian radio station, I was good with God. I had no idea my life was totally messed up and I was headed for a disaster.

I had good intentions and wasn’t completely aware that I was just going through the motions. In some ways, my worship was genuine, but my heart had grown cold and I was disappointed about how my life had turned out. I guess you could say I was backslidden. I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to, but I still expected God to bless me.

There is one thing I can say for sure about twisted religion, it feels like you are still in fellowship with God, you don’t know until it is too late that your effort is wasted and God is going to let you reap what you have sown.

In those days there was no king in Israel, but every man did that which was right in his own eyes. (Judges 17:6)

A matter of the heart

The expression, he has a good heart is usually used to describe someone that is kind, thoughtful, and loving toward others. The heart is said to be the seat of emotions and it can be the source of motives, feelings, affections, and desires (3820). It is the heart that enables us to love, and hate, and develop a relationship with God When our heart is wounded, it affects our ability to connect with people and may cause us to turn away from God because we cannot related to him.

A characteristic that is connected to the heart is courage. In one sense, to be courageous means to be strong, whether in physical strength or something called fortitude which is the will to press forward or through with something. There are many accounts of people that have acted courageously and performed supernatural feats to rescue or protect someone that did not have the physical strength to do so.

I think most people assume Samson was a big, burly man that looked like a sumo wrestler or a professional weight lifter. The only thing recorded about Samson’s appearance is that he was a Nazarite from birth and therefore, he never cut his hair. The source of Samson’s strength was unknown to everyone except Samson and perhaps his parents. It is possible that Samson assumed his strength came from being a Nazarite, when in actuality, it was his relationship with God that enabled him to overpower the Philistines and perform mighty acts to defeat them.

To be a Nazarite means to be separated or consecrated to God. It is similar to the virginity of a woman in that virginity is a sign of purity and is intended to keep a woman separated or consecrated to her husband until they are married. In a way, you could say that a Nazarite’s heart belongs to God and he is not free to love anyone else but God during his time of consecration which in Samson’s case was his entire lifetime.

It says in Judges 16:4 that Samson “loved a woman, in the valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah.” Delilah was a Philistine and she agreed to find out the source of Samson’s strength so that the Philistines could bind him and afflict him. “And Delilah said unto Samson, Tell me, I pray thee, wherein thy great strength lieth, and wherewith thou mightest be bound to afflict thee” (Judges 16:6).

The word translated afflict, ‘ânâh (aw – naw´) means to be bowed down, be humbled. ‘Anah often expresses harsh and painful treatment” (6031). One of the ways the word ‘anah is used is to express the act of rape. “To take a woman sexually by force may be ‘to humble’ her” (6031) as was the case with Jacob’s daughter Dinah. It is believed that the Philistines sought revenge against Samson and intended to kill him after a prolonged period of torture. Delilah’s request to know the source of Samson’s strength so that he could be afflicted was a straight forward attempt to take advantage of his love for her and to determine if he was even willing to die for her.

Isaiah 53:3-4 says of the Messiah “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief…Yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.” Jesus also told his followers that they would be delivered up “to be afflicted” and would be hated by everyone in the world because they identified themselves with his name.

Not many people would agree that if you are a Christian, you should expect to be afflicted, to receive harsh and painful treatment for no reason other than you are a follower of Jesus Christ. Perhaps you have taken a vow of chastity and are being tormented by your friends because you won’t do what everyone else is, having sex outside of marriage. The most common group of women to be targeted by sexual predators is young virgins who will experience rape as their first sexual encounter with a man.

When Samson’s soul was vexed unto death by Delilah’s daily pleading and nagging, he finally “told her all his heart” (Judges 16:17). Immediately, Delilah called the Philistine leaders and told them Samson’s weakness had been revealed.

After Samson is imprisoned by the Philistines, he seeks one last opportunity to gain strength so that he can be avenged. He prays that God will remember him and strengthen him. Samson’s two-fold request indicates that he is no longer relying on his Nazarite vow for power. The interesting thing about Samson’s prayer is that the LORD didn’t answer it. It is believed that Samson was able to topple the house where three thousand Philistines were gathered because his hair had begun to grow back while he was in prison. But, I think it is more likely that Samson’s courage returned because he sought to restore his relationship with the LORD.

The word used for strength in Samson’s prayer, châzaq (khaw – zak´) is the same word that was used when the LORD said he would harden Pharaoh’s heart so that he would not let his people go. Samson knew that he sinned by telling Delilah all that was in his heart. It says in Judges 16:20 that Samson thought he would be able to escape like he had at previous times, but “he wist not that the LORD was departed from him.” Samson was on his own when he suffered torture at the hands of the Philistines and his desire to be avenged had nothing to do with God’s plan to deliver the Israelites from Philistine rule. His heart was hardened after being afflicted and he thought the LORD had left him for good. He wanted to die because the sorrow and pain in his heart were too much for him to bare.

In the last moments of his life, Samson reached out to God and God was there, just not in the way Samson expected him to be. God didn’t harden Samson’s heart, he gave him courage. I think Samson believed he was forgiven and would be able to bring down the house with his bare hands. “And he bowed himself with all his might; and the house fell upon the lords, and upon all the people that were therein” (Judges 16:30).

How could you?

In dysfunctional and abusive relationships, you often see people doing things that hurt someone they do or at least should love. For instance, husbands that beat their wives or parents that sexually abuse their children,. Victims of abuse may start acting like slaves or prisoners that have no ability to fight back because they are used to being overpowered and perceive their enemies as rulers over their lives.

Samson’s supernatural strength was a mechanism God used to show the Israelites that they could break free from the tyranny of the Philistines. When Samson’s wife was given to one of his companions, Samson avenged himself by setting fire to the city’s corn supply. Instead of going after Samson, the Philistines went to the men of Judah and beat them up. “Then three thousand men of Judah went to the top of the rock Etam, and said to Samson, knowest thou not that the Philistines are rulers over us? what is this that thou hast done unto us?” (Judges 15:11).

Basically, the men of Judah were saying, how could you? They were blaming Samson for their beating from the Philistines and making it seem as if Samson had no right to stand up to them. Instead of mustering an army and going to war with the Philistines, they gathered together 3000 men to bind Samson and deliver him to their enemies.

Samson’s supernatural strength was not something he got from working out. In fact, it was not even his own strength that enabled him to do what he was able to do. Whenever Samson got into a conflict with the Philistines, he received help from God, he became powerful because God’s spirit came upon him.

It says when the Philistines shouted against Samson, “the spirit of the LORD came mightily upon him” (Judges 15:14). The word translated spirit, rûwach, (roo´ – akh) means wind or breath, such as in exhalation. “It is clear that the wind is regarded in Scripture as a fitting emblem of the mighty penetrating power of God. Moreover, the breath is supposed to symbolize not only the deep feelings that are generated within man, such as sorrow and anger; but also kindred feelings in the Divine nature” (7307).

The decision of the men of Judah to bind Samson and hand him over to the Philistines must have caused sorrow and anger in Samson. He was doing God’s will when he stood up to the Philistines and so God helped him to escape before the Philistines got their hands on him. After Samson was free from the ropes the men of Judah used to bind him, it says “he found a new jawbone of an ass, and put forth his hand, and took it, and slew a thousand men therewith” (Judges 15:15). What it doesn’t say is who he killed, the men of Judah or the Philistines?

It doesn’t make sense

I can’t think of a life more tragic than the life of Samson. If I had to pick one word to describe it, I would have to say Samson’s life was stupid. That is probably because I don’t understand it. It doesn’t make sense to me. One of the first things recorded about Samson’s life is that he chose a wife of the daughter of the Philistines and “it was of the LORD” (Judges 14:4). How could it be God’s will for a man like Samson, a man separated unto God, a Nazarite from a miraculous birth, to marry a woman from an enemy country?

The only explanation given is that the LORD sought an occasion, which means he was looking for an opportunity, that there was some purpose for Samson to marry this woman because “at that time the Philistines had dominion over Israel” (Judges 14:4). I think Samson knew what he was doing. Even though there is little information given about the situation, it appears the LORD directed Samson to the woman and Samson was acting in obedience to the LORD when he asked his father to get her for him to be his wife.

A tactic that Samson used to gain an advantage over his Philistine companions was to “put forth a riddle” to them (Judges 14:12). It seems kind of strange that days before his wedding Samson would want to insult the members of his wedding party, but it is clear Samson was not trying to win them over. In fact, he may have been trying to start a fight.

The issue that started the conflict may have been a custom of the Philistines that required the groom to supply everyone in the wedding party or what was referred to as his companions, with a set of wedding clothes. It says of Samson in Judges 14:11, when they saw him, that they brought thirty companions to be with him.” I don’t know what was typical in that day, but 30 seems like a lot of companion. The reward for solving the riddle was thirty sheets and thirty changes of garments, so it could have been that Samson intended that if they didn’t solve the riddle, they would have to pay him back for the wedding clothes he had provided them with.

The part of the story that doesn’t make sense is that when the companions went to Samson’s wife to find out the answer to the riddle, they threatened to burn her and her family to death, so Samson told her the answer to the riddle. This seems like a lot of drama over 30 changes of clothes. I can’t help but wonder why did the conflict become so heated and why Samson gave in to his wife’s plea if he was trying to teach the Philistines a lesson?

The Philistines gained dominion over the Israelites not because they were strong, but because they were smart. I believe Samson put forth a riddle to his companions for two reasons, first to demonstrate he could out smart them, and second because he wanted them to find out that he had killed a lion with his bare hands. He wanted them to know about his supernatural strength.

The answer to Samson’s riddle was a two-part question: 1) What is sweeter than honey?, and 2) What is stronger than a lion? The answer to the second question was obvious, Samson was stronger than a lion because he killed one in the vineyards of Timnath. The answer to the first question was not so obvious. What is sweeter than honey?…revenge?

It’s a secret

A characteristic of God that differentiates him from man is that he is eternal, there is no beginning or end to his existence. Because Jesus was born as a man, it is natural to assume that he did not exist before he was born in Bethlehem. Perhaps that is why he made several visits to Earth before then to establish he existence beforehand.

“And the angel of the LORD appeared unto the woman, and said unto her, Behold now, thou art baren, and bearest not: but thou shalt conceive, and bear a son” (Judges 13:3). The woman’s name is not mentioned even though she is clearly a significant person to have had the privilege of a personal visit from God.

The woman describes her visitor as a man of God whose “countenance was like the countenance of an angel of God, very terrible” (Judges 13:6). The word translated terrible, yârê’ (yaw – ray´) means stand in awe. Today we might say that the angel looked very awesome, but there is an element of holiness that would have been lost in the translation.

After the woman tells her husband, he prays that the man of God will visit him also. “And God hearkened to the voice of Manoah; and the angel of God came again unto the woman as she sat in the field: but Manoah her husband was not with her” (Judges 13:9). Eventually, Manoah joins his wife and has a conversation with the angel of the LORD and determines that he and his wife have seen God.

At one point, Manoah asks the angel of the LORD, “what is your name?…And the angel of the LORD said unto him, Why askest thou thus after my name. seeing that it is secret?” (Judges 13:17, 18). The word translated secret, pâlîy’ (paw – lee´) means wonderful. So in a sense, the angel was revealing his identity without actually telling Manoah his name. Isaiah wrote of the Messiah that “his name shall be called Wonderful” (Isaiah 9:6).

When the angel told Manoah that his name was secret, he may have been intentionally revealing his identity without giving his name away. If the angel had said his name was Jesus, it would not have made sense to Manoah that he was speaking to the pre-incarnate Christ because God was known to the Israelites as Jehovah. Rather than using his name the Israelites often referred to God by the characteristics that distinguished him from man.

The word paliy’ is derived from the word pâlâ’ (paw – law´) which means “to be marvelous, be extraordinary, be beyond one’s power to do, do wonderful acts” (6381). Another word that is derived from pala’ is pele’ (peh – leh´) which means “a miracle” (6382). Only God can do the miraculous and being able to appear on Earth before you have been born is definitely a miracle.

Mind your own business

One of the signs of a dysfunctional family is everybody getting into everybody else’s business. There always seems to be at least one instigator who spends all his time finding out what everyone is doing and spreading the news to others. Whether you want to think of them as busy bodies, gossips, or trouble makers, they feel it is their job to keep everyone informed.

My family is no different than any other. Our instigator happened to be the grandma with too much time on her hands. She thought she was doing the family a service, but in reality, she was just stirring the pot and perpetuating conflict. I believe the instigator in our family was motivated by a need to be the center of attention and a deep concern for the well being of her family. In a sense, you could say she was a worry wart that was not able to trust God for her family’s protection.

The men of Ephraim appear to be the instigators among the children of Israel. On two occasions, they asked why they had not been contacted regarding battle plans. Jephthah’s response to their question “Wherefore passedst thou over to fight against the children of Ammon, and didst not call us to go with thee?” (Judges 12:1) my have been sarcastic because he uses a different word for call when he says “I and my people were in great strife with the children of Ammon; and when I called you, ye delivered me not out of their hands” (Judges 12:2).

The word Jephthah used for called, zâ‘aq (zaw – ak´) is typically used in reference to crying out to God for deliverance. “Its first occurrence is in the record of the Israelites bondage in Egypt” (2199). There is a distinct difference between za‘aq which refers to divine aid and qârâ (kaw – raw´) which “signifies the specification of a name” (7121). So Jephthah may have been trying to make a point: I didn’t call you because only God has the ability to deliver us from our enemies.

“Then Jephthah gathered together all the men of Gilead, and fought with Ephraim: and the men of Gilead smote Ephraim…and there fell at that time of the Ephraimites forty and two thousand” (Judges 12:4, 5). Family conflicts are sometimes necessary and can serve a purpose, but often the damage is not worth it. The loss of 42,000 men was significant. The Ephraimites might have been better off to mind their own business.

In process of time

The phrase “in process of time” (Judges 11:4) appears only a handful of times in the Bible, exclusively in the Old Testament. In all but one instance, the phrase “it came to pass” (Judges 11:4) accompanies it. The reference to time in conjunction with process gives the impression that there is a dependency between time and process, but it is not clear which one drives the other. It is possible that the process determines the amount of time that needs to elapse for it to be completed or it is possible that there is a time-table that is being followed and the process is being executed according to a schedule. Either way, there is a mechanism of control that is being revealed in these verses.

Since we know that God controls everything, we can assume that God uses process and time to control the actions he takes. Therefore, it is either the steps he is planning to take or his time-table that determines when we will get an answer to our prayer. I believe God is working to a schedule because it says in the Bible that he knows when the end will come. If you think of saving the world as a project plan that God executed after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, then he project was completed when Jesus died on the cross. Milestones in God’s project plan may have been marked with the phrase in process of time so that we could follow along and be aware that progress is being made according to a time-table.

If it is true that in process of time statements are indicators of milestones in God’s plan to save the world, then the fourth of five milestones is recorded in Judges 11:4, “And it came to pass in process of time that the children of Ammon made war against Israel.” The children of Ammon were descendants of the son that was born to Lot’s daughter through incest (Gen 19:38). The Israelites had begun to serve the gods of the children of Ammon (Judges 10:6). Molech was the chief Ammonite deity (1 Kings 11:7) and was sometimes worshipped by the offering of human sacrifice (Lev 18:21, 20:2-5, 2 Kings 23:10).

And it was so, that when the children of Ammon made war against Israel, the elders of Gilead went to fetch Jephthah out of the land of Tob…And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the LORD, and said if thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands, then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the LORD’s, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering…And Jephthah came to Mizpeh unto his house, and behold, his daughter came out to meet him…And it came to pass at the end of two months, that she returned unto her father, who did with her according to his vow which he had vowed. (Judges 11:5, 30-32, 34, 39)