spiritual growth

Process of spiritual growth

Peter’s second epistle is believed to have been written not long before he was martyred for his faith during the reign of the Roman Emperor Nero (The Second Epistle General of Peter, Introduction). Peter’s final instructions focused on the process of spiritual growth. Somewhat like stepping stones that mark an unfamiliar pathway, Peter identified the characteristics that result from a believer’s diligent effort to produce spiritual fruit. Peter said, “Add to your faith virtue; and to virtue, knowledge; and to knowledge temperance, and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity” (2 Peter 1:5-7).

Peter assumed that the people he was writing to had already been born again because he told them to add to their faith virtue (2 Peter 1:5). Faith in this context is the initial reliance upon Christ for salvation (G4102), a decision to accept Jesus as your savior. Peter indicated that after being born again, a person must learn to or at least make an effort to be virtuous. The Greek word translated virtue, arete (ar-et’-ay) is properly translated as manliness or valor (G703). Arete has to do with the impression one makes on another person. You could say that it is the image of ourselves that we project to others or our appearance. What I believe Peter was getting at was that after we become Christians, we should start looking like Christians. People should notice and be impressed by our Christlike behavior.

Peter instructed believers to add to their virtue knowledge (2 Peter 1:5). The Greek word Peter used that is translated knowledge is gnosis (gno’-sis). Gnosis denotes spiritual truth and in this instance is concerned with the initial understanding that one should have of his or her faith, what it means to be a Christian. In other words, Peter was saying that Christians should understand the Bible enough to answer the question, what does it mean to be saved? The first three steps that Peter identified in the process of spiritual growth were things that almost every person that has been born again is able to do as soon as or shortly after becoming a Christian. They don’t take very much effort. Therefore, you could say they have to do with being a baby Christian, someone that has not really started to mature yet.

Peter said we are to add to our knowledge temperance or self control. Paul mentioned temperance in his list of spiritual fruits (Galatians 5:23). This seems to suggests that Peter was shifting gears and was beginning to focus on the kind of spiritual growth that is usually associated with a mature Christian. The Greek word translated temperance, “Egkrateia is the virtue of one who masters his desires and passions, especially his sensual appetites” (G1466). For some people this might be a rather easy task, but for others it can take a long time, sometimes a lifetime for them to get their addictions and habits under control. Peter’s next step, patience is what I would refer to as the characteristic that separates the men from the boys. Patience or hupomone (hoop-om-on-ay’) is also translated as waiting, but it is more than just sitting idly by and expecting something to happen. Patience has to do with enduring trials and is sometimes associated with God’s disciplining of his children.

According to James, patience perfects Christian character (James 1:4). “fellowship in the patience of Christ is therefore the condition upon which believers are to be admitted to reign with Him, 2 Ti 2:12; Rev 1:9” G5281). Peter encouraged believers to go beyond this point and instructed them to add to their patience godliness (2 Peter 1:6). Godliness has to do with conforming oneself to the will of God (G2150). I believe this is where the transformation of a believer’s life becomes evident to everyone around him. You could say that the Christian that exhibits godliness definitely stands out in a crowd. I think this step in the spiritual growth process is where the majority of Christians drop out or give up, thinking that it is too hard or not worth it. I can say from my own personal experience that this step is not for the faint of heart.

The next step in the process of spiritual growth is one that might seem like it should be at the beginning rather than the end. Peter said we are to add to our godliness brotherly kindness (2 Peter 1:7). Brotherly kindness or philadelphia in the Greek represents the kind of love that is usually expressed between blood relatives, but in this context it refers to all believers or the family of God. The final step in the process of spiritual growth, charity is closely linked with brotherly kindness. The Greek word Peter used that is translated charity, agape is the highest or purest form of love that can be expressed between two people. It conveys “the attitude of God toward his Son” (G26). I believe what Peter was getting at was that in order to reach full maturity as a Christian, we need to first learn how to love other believers the same way we love our own family members and then, we need to be able to love everyone else the same way we love ourselves.

Spiritual discipline

Hebrews chapter twelve focuses on the task off exercising our faith. In the same way that the great heroes of faith identified in chapter eleven had to demonstrate their reliance upon God, so believers today are expected to make every effort to not give up on what they say they believe God is going to do in their lives. In the context of a competition, we are told, “let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,” (Hebrews 12:1, NKJV).

The sin that does so easily ensnare us is a reference to unbelief. Our faith is constantly under attack because the world we live in is a contradiction to it that cannot be explained away. Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, died on a cross as a criminal. Thinking of him as the Savior of the world, takes a significant amount of spiritual effort. One of the most difficult statements in the Bible to comprehend is, “For whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.” (Hebrews 12:6, NKJV).

One of the ways believers are expected to think of themselves is children. Since everyone had been or still is a child, it is easy for us to imagine a parent correcting or disciplining us as a child. The Greek word translated chastens, paideuo (pahee-dyoo’-o) actually means “to train up a child” (G3811). Most people who are good parents discipline their children in ways that are sometimes perceived to be harsh or what we use to call being strict. The intent was to keep our children out of trouble. God’s children should be associated with godly behavior.

The purpose of spiritual discipline is explained in Hebrews 12:11. It says, “Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (NKJV). The peaceable fruit of righteousness means that people are able to see evidence of God’s work in our lives. When a person goes through a difficult time and survives, and even gets stronger in the process, it is usually because his faith was at work in spite of his difficult circumstance.

The author of Hebrews identified two specific types of spiritual discipline. The instruction to “make straight paths for your feet lest that which is lame be turned out of the way” (Hebrews 12:13) refers to Bible study. Sometimes the truth is painful, but we have to continue to read and study the Bible even when it hurts. Ultimately, the word of God heals and restores us and makes it possible for us to stay on course.

The second type of spiritual discipline is associated with a root of bitterness that springs up and causes us trouble (Hebrews 12:15). I believe this refers to wounds from our past. You might think of a root of bitterness as a weed that was pulled out of a garden, but the root was left behind, therefore, it is able to come up again. Jealousy is often a source of bitterness because we don’t like it when someone takes what is rightfully ours. Once bitterness takes root in our hearts, it is very difficult to get rid of it. The only way to remove a root of bitterness completely is to accept that what has been lost is irretrievable and it is time to move on.

Christ in you

Perhaps the most difficult aspect of Christianity to comprehend is the fact that Jesus lives in the heart of every believer. Paul referred to this doctrinal truth as a secret and said;

Now I am full of joy to be suffering for you. In my own body I am doing my share of what has to be done to make Christ’s sufferings complete. This is for His body which is the Church. I became a preacher in His church for your good. In the plan of God I am to preach the Good News. This great secret was hidden to the people of times past, but it is now made known to those who belong to Christ. God wants these great riches of the hidden truth to be made known to the people who are not Jews. The secret is this: Christ in you brings hope of all the great things to come. We preach Christ. We tell every man how he must live. We use wisdom in teaching every man. We do this so every man will be complete in Christ. (Colossians 1:24-28, NLV)

Paul wanted the believers in Colosse to understand that the truth of the gospel was not conveyed to them through natural means, but that God had imparted the wisdom and knowledge of Christ directly to them through his Holy Spirit. Paul described the supernatural process of regeneration in Colossians 2:11-15. He said:

When you became a Christian, you were set free from the sinful things of the world. This was not done by human hands. You were set free from the sins of your old self by what was done in Christ’s body. When you were baptized, you were buried as Christ was buried. When you were raised up in baptism, you were raised as Christ was raised. You were raised to a new life by putting your trust in God. It was God Who raised Jesus from the dead. When you were dead in your sins, you were not set free from the sinful things of the world. But God forgave your sins and gave you new life through Christ. We had broken the Law many ways. Those sins were held against us by the Law. That Law had writings which said we were sinners. But now He has destroyed that writing by nailing it to the cross. God took away the power of the leaders of this world and the powers of darkness. He showed them to the world. The battle was won over them through Christ. (NLV)

Christ’s death on the cross was the final step in God’s effort to reconcile the world to himself. Because the penalty for all our sins was paid by Jesus, we are able to live free from the guilt of sin and escape the penalty of death that we deserve. Through the process of regeneration we have not only been united with Christ, but also with every other believer in the world. Paul said, “And not holding fast to the Head, from whom all the body, nourished and knit together by joints and ligaments, grows with the increase that is from God.” (Colossians 2:19, NKJV).

The Greek word Paul used that is translated knit together in Colossians 2:19 is sumbibazo (soom-bib-ad’-zo) which means “to drive together that is unite (in association or affection)” (G4822). Mentally, sumbibazo infers showing or teaching someone something. The Greek word sumbibazo is derived from the words sun (soon) and basis (bas’-ece). These two words have to do with Jesus’ ministry on earth when he was spending all his time with his disciples teaching them about the kingdom of heaven (G939/G4862). What Paul was saying was that when we become Christians, we enter into the same kind of relationship with Jesus that his disciples had. He is with us all the time, actually dwelling inside us through his Holy Spirit, and he causes us to grow spiritually.

A building project

Paul’s analogy of spiritual growth focused on the progressive steps that were necessary to reach spiritual maturity. Paul began by pointing out that God’s gift of salvation did not guarantee spiritual growth. He stated, “And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ. I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able” (1 Corinthians 3:1-2). The two Christian characteristics Paul compared in this passage, spiritual versus carnal, represented the difference between being supernaturally regenerated or born again and unregenerated, living an animal-like existence. Paul wanted the Corinthians to understand that they were not only acting like babies, but also were in danger of missing the whole point of their salvation. His statement, “I have fed you with milk” (1 Corinthians 3:2) eluded to the Corinthians’ immaturity and lack of awareness of their own bad behavior. Most likely, Paul was trying to make the point that his advice needed to be taken seriously and not treated as meaningless babble.

Paul explained to the Corinthians that spiritual maturity required a process of growth similar to a building project or planting a garden. The process of growth involved stages that might be compared to things like laying a foundation, erecting a structure, etc. Paul started by making it clear that he and others might be involved in the process, but God alone produced the results. He stated, “I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase” (1 Corinthians 3:6). Paul differentiated himself from other teachers by indicating he was a masterbuilder, a chief constructor or architect (G753). He said, “According to the grace of God which is given unto me, as a wise masterbuilder, I have laid the foundation, and another buildeth thereon. But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon. For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 3:10-11).

Paul seemed to be concerned that his work of preaching the gospel was being undermined by teaching that was inconsistent with God’s plan of salvation. Paul didn’t give any examples of the errant messages that were being circulated, but implied that Jesus Christ’s role was not being emphasized enough. It could be that the process of salvation was being miscommunicated and Paul needed to remind the Corinthians that their supernatural regeneration was a result of what Jesus did for them through his substitutionary death on the cross. Paul explained that when it comes to the process of salvation our work and Christ’s work are two separate things. Although we cannot save ourselves, our service to God contributes to our spiritual growth and development and we will one day be judged for the results we’ve produced. Paul stated, “Every man’s  work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is” (1 Corinthian’s 3:13).

Spiritual fruit

After he identified the works of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21) and the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), Paul went on to say that all Christians are personally responsible for the outcome of their spiritual lives (Galatians 6:4-5). Paul stated, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap” (Galatians 6:7). Paul intended that the principle of sowing and reaping would link spiritual activity with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. When he said, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance,” Paul meant that these characteristics would be produced by the Holy Spirit and become more and more visible over time in a Christian’s behavior if he or she remained in fellowship with God.

An important aspect of the principle of sowing and reaping was the idea that a particular type of seed produced a specific kind of fruit (e.g. you can’t grow an apple tree from an orange seed). Whatever kind of seed you started with was the only thing you were able to produce. Jesus’ parable of the sower (Matthew 13:3-8) indicated that the seed that needed to be sown in order to reap the fruit of the Spirit was the word of God. In his explanation of this parable, Jesus said:

“When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the path. As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away. As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful. As for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it. He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.” (Matthew 13:19-23, ESV)

The Greek word translated understands in Matthew 13:23, suniemi (soon-ee’-ay-mee) is derived from the word sun (soon) which denotes union; “with or together, i.e. by association, companionship, process, resemblance, possession, instrumentality, addition, etc.” (G4862). Another way of describing the Greek word sun would be assimilation, the process of taking in and fully understanding information or ideas. Assimilation also refers to the absorption and digestion of food or nutrients by the body or any biological system (Oxford Dictionary).

The process of assimilating the word of God can take years, sometimes decades, or even an entire lifetime. What is important to note is that it is an intentional process, one that does not happen automatically. Otherwise, there would be no such thing as a carnal Christian, a person that is saved, but does not produce any spiritual fruit (1 Corinthians 3:3). Paul encouraged believers to stick with the process of spiritual growth, even if it seemed like nothing was happening. He said, “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Galatians 6:9). In other words, your appointed time to be blessed by God may come when you least expect it, when you are past the point of giving up.

Patience

James letter “to the twelve tribes which were scattered abroad” (James 1:1) was meant to be a lesson on the topic of patience (James 1:2-4). Apparently, Jesus’ promise to return to Earth was being questioned and the delay of this event was causing believers to be filled with doubt. James encouraged Christians to wait patiently in his statement, “Be patient therefore, brethren, unto the coming of the Lord. Behold, the husbandman waiteth for the precious fruit of the earth, and hath long patience for it, until he receive the early and latter rain. Be ye also patient; stablish your hearts: for the coming of the Lord draweth nigh” (James 5:7-8). The phrase “stablish your hearts” has to do with the way we think about our lives. It is likely James was referring to the commitment believers make when they give their lives to Christ. James was pointing out that even though the primary function of salvation was to secure God’s forgiveness and eternal life, Christians should expect to go through a difficult and sometimes long process of transformation before they go to heaven.

The return of Christ was misunderstood to be an event that would happen in the near future, perhaps before the first generation of Christians died. The reason it was so important to believers was likely because the persecution that was taking place was very difficult to handle. The return of Christ may have been used as a coping mechanism to get through the horrible circumstances Christians had to deal with. The problem with that approach was that it didn’t leave room for the possibility that suffering was to be expected and embraced rather than avoided in the Christian life. James wanted believers to understand that spiritual development was counter intuitive and shouldn’t be thought of as a quick and easy process that anyone can get through. His analogy of the precious fruit of the earth (James 5:7) being like the faith that Christians are developing throughout their lives suggests that the cultivation of spiritual fruit (love, joy, peace, etc.) is the outcome that we need to focus on in order to survive the trials and temptations that we all have to go through.

I think patience is often misunderstood because we associate it with things that are unpleasant. I believe James’ opening statement, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds” (James 1:2) was meant to teach us that joy and patience actually do go together. The key to understanding this strange concept may be James use of the Greek word hegeomai (hayg-eh’-om-ahee) which is translated “count it” in James 1:2. Hegeomai means “to lead, i.e. command (with official authority)” (G2233). Hegeomai is also translated as “have rule over.” You could say that exercising patience means that you take control of a situation, you don’t let your circumstances determine how you are going to behave. Another way of describing patience is long-spirited. From this perspective, you could say that patience is letting yourself be stretched spiritually. In other words, your spirit is dominating your flesh or human nature. One way of doing this is through prayer. James encouraged believers to pray about their difficult circumstances (James 5:13) and stated, “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16).

Spiritual conflict

James’ stark description of Christian living made it clear that a choice to follow Christ was not only a choice to swim against the tide of normal human existence, but also a conscious decision to suffer for one’s beliefs. His opening statement, “My brethren count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations” (James 1:2) might have seemed like a slap in the face to the many Jewish Christians that were experiencing extreme persecution as a result of their decision to openly identify themselves with Jesus, the Savior of the World. It seems probable from reading James’ letter that conflict had deteriorated the spiritual health of the church located in Jerusalem. James’ harsh depiction of the ravages of an unbridled tongue may have come from real life experiences that had prompted him to address the problem in a practical way, through a reminder of the lesson Jesus taught his followers in his Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:3, 3:10-12).

James associated spiritual conflict with a lack of humility and an imbalanced prayer life. Apparently, people were selfishly seeking God’s blessing on their own lives and neglecting to intercede for the needs of their friends and family members. James stated, “From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts” (James 4:1-3). The Greek word James used that is translated lusts, hedone (hay-don-ay’) means to please. This word is linked to the ethical theory of hedonism which suggests that pleasure (in the sense of the satisfaction of desires) is the highest good and proper aim of human life. James was probably not trying to convince Christians that the pursuit of pleasure was wrong, but that it was disruptive to the pursuit of godly living in the sense that suffering was actually good for them because it would lead to spiritual growth.

James chose to illustrate the spiritual conflict that selfishness produces by likening it to an internal battle or civil warfare. The phrase “war in your members” (James 4:1) suggests that spiritual warfare is more of an internal than external battle. It’s possible that James was referring to the voices in our heads that tell us what to do. To a certain extent, all sin is a type of temporary insanity. We know we shouldn’t do it, and are often times aware of the negative consequences that will result from our bad behavior, but we go ahead and do it anyway because we think the pleasure it will bring us is worth it. James argued against hedonism when he stated, “Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God” (James 4:4). The Greek word translated enmity, echthra means hostility and denotes the opposite of God’s unconditional love (G2189). Another way of stating James argument would be to say that you hate God when you choose to ignore his commandments.

Understanding

Jesus’ teaching included some hard sayings that were often misunderstood by those that gathered to hear him speak. After the scribes and Pharisees began to twist his words and take them out of context, Jesus started using stories that were referred to as parables to convey truths about God’s kingdom. Jesus’ parables used comparisons or illustrations from nature and human life to convey messages that might be misconstrued if he were to talk about them openly among unbelievers. On one occasion, when there were so many people gathered by the sea side to listen to him teach that he had to get into a ship to keep from being crushed by the crowd (Matthew 13:1-2), Jesus used the parable of the sower to describe the effects of hearing the word of God. This parable included a key lesson that Jesus later interpreted for his disciples so that they wouldn’t misunderstand the point he was making. Therefore, its meaning was very important and Jesus wanted to make sure they didn’t misinterpret it.

When Jesus’ disciples asked him, “Why speakest thou unto them in parables?” (Matthew 13:10), it says in Matthew 13:11, “He answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given.” The Greek word translated mysteries, musterion (moos-tay’-ree-on) means a secret or mystery (through the idea of silence imposed by initiation into religious rites)” (3466). What Jesus was implying was that membership in God’s kingdom was required for certain information to be revealed. In other words, unbelievers weren’t on the need to know list, therefore, Jesus didn’t tell them everything about the kingdom of heaven. When he explained the parable to his disciples, the key issue Jesus focused on was the unbeliever’s inability to understand or assimilate the word of God. Jesus said, “Therefore speak I to them in parables: because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand” (Matthew 13:13).

Understanding of the word of God occurs at a deeper level than information that is processed through our brains. Jesus likened the word of God to seeds because seeds need to be underneath the soil in order for them to germinate. Like farming, Jesus suggested that assimilation of the word of God was a process that took place over time and an important factor that was revealed in his parable was the quality of the soil, or in reality, the condition of a person’s heart. He said, “But he that received the seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. The Greek word Jesus used for understanding, suniemi (soon-ee’-ay-mee) is derived from the word sun (soon) which denotes union; “with or together, i.e. by association, companionship, process, resemblance” (4862). The process of taking in and fully understanding the information and ideas that Jesus taught about the kingdom of God occurred while the disciples were living with him over the course of three years.

A clear pathway

Solomon said, “Where there is not vision, the people perish; but he that keepeth the law, happy is he” (Proverbs 29:18). If you relate it to driving, this proverb makes a lot of sense. Obviously, we can’t drive blindfolded. If we did, we would end up in an accident pretty quickly. When we obey the traffic laws, we avoid getting tickets and usually arrive at our destination on time.

The Bible often compares life to a journey and heaven as the destination we want to arrive at. In this context, vision can be thought of as a clear view of the spiritual realm in which God exists. When we ignore or don’t pay attention to spiritual things, we ultimately end up in the wrong place, hell.

God’s laws are meant to be signposts that point us in the right direction. Sin is sometimes referred to as missing the mark. Another way to think of it is making a wrong turn or missing your exit on the freeway. Sin keeps us from reaching our destination. Therefore, we are much better off if we do what God tells us to.

Aside from reaching our final destination, heaven, our life’s journey includes lessons or pit stops along the way that refresh and restore us so that we don’t get worn out from our travels. Having a vision or road map helps us to not miss the exit when the next gas station is 100 miles away and our gas tank is almost empty. This is what I believe Solomon meant when he said, “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18). He wasn’t talking about ending up in hell. He was referring to a loss of time or lack of progress. In essence, your life being put on hold.

Keeping God’s law is not so much about what we do as it is about what God does. When we obey God, He protects us and keeps us from harm. The word translated keepeth in the phrase “keepeth the law” (Proverbs 29:18) is shamar. Shamar means to hedge about or guard. “The word also means ‘to keep’ in the sense of ‘watching over’ or giving attention to (8104). As we pay attention to God’s traffic signals, He keeps us away from detours and makes sure we don’t end up in a ditch.

Self-control

When we are born again, our spirits become alive. Like our bodies, our spirits grow and mature, and must be nourished in order to develop properly. We know our spirits are healthy if they are producing fruit (Galatians 5:22-23). One of the fruits of the spirit is referred to as temperance, which is the exercising of self-control (1468).

Solomon was talking about self-control in Proverbs 25:28 when he said, “He that hath no rule over his spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls.” In other words, a lack of spiritual maturity leaves a person open  to attack. This is an interesting point because in Solomon’s time, people were not born again, the entire population of Israel was dead spiritually. That is why it was inevitable that the Israelites would end up in exile. They were spiritually defenseless.

Being born again doesn’t guarantee spiritual success. After I became a Christian, I read my Bible, attended church, and talked to God on a regular basis, but I still failed miserably with regards to spiritual growth. What I was lacking was spiritual exercise. The apostle Paul used the phrase “walk in the spirit” (Galatians 5:16) to describe spiritual exercise. What Paul meant was for us to allow the Holy Spirit to control our behavior. Really, self-control is not about us being in control, but the Holy Spirit overruling our sinful desires. We have to give him permission to do that.

It is natural to do what we want to. God made man with a free will, therefore, he respects our right to choose for ourselves what we do with our time on earth. When we choose to follow Christ, we are in essence saying that God knows better than we do what choices to make, and yet, most of the time we still do what we want to. It wasn’t until I became “like a city that is broken down, and without walls” (Proverbs 25:28) that I decided to exercise self-control and actually do what God told me to.