relationships

Falling in love

Nine years ago I was blessed with the experience of falling in love with a wonderful man. I met Rick while I was on a business trip in another state. Ours was truly a whirlwind romance. On our second date, Rick took me to meet his family. Afterwards, it felt like my dream of finding a man that would love me had come true. I was so in love with Rick that when it came time to go home at the end of my trip, I could hardly think of anything but spending the rest of my life with him.

The Song of Solomon is the story of a woman that falls in love with king Solomon. The woman’s name is not given. Solomon refers to her as my love and says of her beauty, “Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair” (Solomon 1:15). After being introduced to Solomon’s household, Solomon’s lover states, “He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick with love” (Solomon 2:4-5). And then she gives this advice, “I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please” (Solomon 2:7).

Falling in love in not only an intense emotional experience, it is similar to coming down with a bad case of the flu, if you have to be separated from the one you love. You become weak. You can’t eat or sleep and your heart aches to be in his arms again. My long distance relationship with Rick was torture. It was all I could do to just get through each day. My only hope of survival was the thought of seeing him again on my next business trip.

A conversation with God

The first conversation I had with God began with a spontaneous expression of a desire I was completely unaware of. My statement was like a confession. “God, all I want do is come and be with you in heaven and take care of the little babies there.” And his response was like a prophetic revelation, “Some day you will come and be with me, but until that time, I have much work for you to do where you are.” I received the message 35 years ago and yet it seems as if it was only yesterday the words were spoken to me.

The psalmist said, “For ever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven” (Psalm 119:89). The word translated settled, nâtsab (naw – tsab´) means to station (5324). It is similar to what a soldier does while on watch. The words for ever designate an existence that is outside of time or “from the most distant past time to the most distant future time,” in other words, eternity (5769). Heaven is God’s home, but it is not a place in the universe. “God’s abode is a unique realm not to be identified with the physical creation” (8064). God is in or in between everything we can see.

The fact that we can hear God speak to us is unexplainable, but my experience indicates it is possible to have a conversation with God. The thing that amazes me the most about what I heard was that is was exactly what I needed to hear in the moment and every moment since then. The message was timeless and it has sustained me for 35 years. I don’t know how much longer it will be before I go to heaven, but I know some day I will go there, or should I say be there, as God is now.

Going God’s way

“I will run the way of thy commandments, when thou shalt enlarge my heart” (Psalm 119:32). God’s commandments are meant to by signposts or directions that guide us on our journey through life. Going the way of God’s commandments means that you are following his directions, traveling along the course that has been laid out for you. When the psalmist said, “I will run the way of thy commandments,” he meant that he would travel quickly or charge ahead when God enlarged his heart.

The phrase “enlarge my heart” (Psalm 119:32) refers to the condition of the inner man. The Hebrew word translated heart, lêb (labe) includes not only the motives, feelings, affections, and desires, but also the will, the aims, the principles, the thoughts, and the intellect of man. In fact, it embraces the whole inner man” (3820). Basically, to enlarge the heart, means to make it grow, not necessarily in size, but in its capacity to think and initiate action.

In order for something to grow, it first has to be alive and then, it has to receive some type of nourishment. The psalmist said, “quicken thou me according to thy word” (Psalm 119:25) and “strengthen thou me according to thy word” (Psalm 119:28). The word translated quicken means to live or to cause to revive (2421) and the word translated strengthen means to arise or to stand up (6965). The reference to these terms in the context of God’s communication with man indicates that growth occurs when we hear God’s word.

The Hebrew word dâbâr (daw – baw´) in most cases “is a technical phrase referring expressly to prophetic revelation (1697). When the psalmist said, “according to thy word” (psalm 119:25, 28), he was most likely referring to a prophetic revelation that he had received from the LORD. The Bible contains numerous prophesies including the entire book of Revelation which covers some events that are still in the future. It is clear that God wants us to know what is going to happen ahead of time and uses prophetic revelations to encourage us in our walk with him.

The Hebrew word translated strengthen in Psalm 119:28 signifies empowering or strengthening, but “it is also used to denote the inevitable occurrence of something predicted or prearranged” (6965). One of the ways that I believe we can gain strength is by asking God to show us his way, to reveal to us the destiny he has planned for us. If you want to go God’s way, then it makes sense to ask him, Where am I going?

Count your blessings

“What shall I render to the LORD for all his benefits towards me?” (Psalm 116:12). The word translated render, shûwb (shoob) means “‘to return or go back, bring back.’ The basic meaning of this verb is movement back to the point of departure” (7725). The question the Psalmist was asking was answered in the next verse of his psalm. “I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the LORD” (Psalm 116:13). What the Psalmist was saying was that he would enter into a relationship with the LORD because the LORD had blessed him.

It makes sense to have a relationship with someone that is good to you. God’s goodness is shown through his blessings. God’s first command to man was “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). Although all of God’s creation is subject to him (Psalm 114:3-8), God does not violate the free will of man by causing man to serve him. Only those who accept God’s gift of salvation and call upon his name are expected to serve God.

Rendering something to someone can be thought of as an exchange, like exchanging presents at Christmastime. If you give me a gift, I will want to give you a gift in return. The problem with giving a gift to God is he already owns everything. There is nothing we can give him that he doesn’t already own, including our lives. What we are doing when we give our lives to God is really giving it back to him. We are returning to him his possession.

It says in Psalm 115:12-13, “The LORD hath been mindful of us; he will bless us; he will bless the house of Israel; he will bless the house of Aaron. He will bless them that fear the LORD, both small and great.” To fear God means to give him reverence, to render to him the respect he deserves (3372). The small and great are those who are of value or important to God (1419) and those who are of no account, those who are insignificant or the least in his estimation (6994).  What this is saying is that God treats everyone equal in regards to his blessing. Whether you are an Israelite, a priest in the house of God, or a janitor, God will bless you if you show him proper respect.

The word translated mindful, yâkar (yaw – kar´) means “to mark (so as to recognize)” (2142). Another way to interpret the word yakar is to remember someone or to think about her on a continual basis. The phrase “cup of salvation” is often thought to be related to the cup of the Passover meal referred to in Matthew 26:27. Jesus commanded his disciples, “this do in remembrance of me” (Luke 22:19). The last supper was an opportunity for followers of Jesus to enter into a new covenant that would result in blessing for anyone that accepted him as Savior. I believe the blessing of God is such that it increases over time or as you mature in your relationship with him. You can know how close you are to the LORD  by counting your blessings.

A bitter ending

In Psalm 5, David reveals his attitude toward Absalom and makes it clear that he did not want Absalom’s life spared, but believed that it was God’s responsibility and not his own to punish Absalom for his wicked deeds. In reference to Absalom’s deceitful tactics, David said, “Thou shalt destroy them that speak leasing: The LORD will abhor the bloody and deceitful man” (Psalm 5:6).

David was able to differentiate between the feelings he had for his son and the contempt he felt for the man that stole the hearts of David’s followers. Although David loved his son Absalom, he did not want God to go easy on him. David prayed, “Destroy thou them, O God: Let them fall by their own counsel; cast them out in the multitude of their transgressions; for they have rebelled against thee” (Psalm 5:10).

I believe the reason David commanded that Absalom’s life be spared (2 Samuel 18:5) was so that he would have the opportunity to confront Absalom as Nathan the prophet had confronted him(2 Samuel 12:7). It is possible that Absalom would have repented and restored his relationship with his father. The conflict between the two men was never resolved and as a result of Joab killing Absalom, David didn’t get the chance to tell his son how he felt about him (2 Samuel 18:33).

Family conflicts are complicated because of the feelings that are involved in intimate relationships. Although David probably didn’t fully understand why Absalom rebelled, he knew that the young man was angry about how his sister’s rape was handled. Absalom loved his sister Tamar and had tried to honor her by killing the man that had raped her. Unfortunately, David’s leniency toward Absalom’s act of revenge opened the door for him to gain an advantage and attempt to dethrone the king.

How are the mighty fallen!

After king Saul was killed in battle, David sang a dirge to commemorate the powerful warrior that had sought to kill him. Three times in his song David chants, “How are the mighty fallen!” (2 Samuel 1:19, 25, 27). He is not asking a question, but stating the fact that a proven warrior has gone down in battle. As we commemorate our veterans who have given their lives for their country, so David wanted to bring honor to the first king of Israel.

Although Saul’s life had ended in tragedy, David wanted people to remember that much good had been accomplished during king Saul’s reign. In his song, David also acknowledged the death of Saul’s son Jonathon. There was no better way for David to express his sadness over the loss of his good friend Jonathon than with these words:

I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathon: Very pleasant hast thou been unto me: Thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women. How are the mighty fallen, and the weapons of war perished! (2 Samuel 1:26-27)

David and Jonathon were more than companions. I think the best way to describe their relationship would be kindred spirits. When David referred to Jonathon as his brother, he was not speaking of their relationship in a legal sense, but a spiritual sense. You could say David and Jonathon were brothers in the Lord, they shared a common faith much as Believers today do. Their love for each other was supernatural or what is referred to as agape lover, the kind of love God has for his children.

The loss of Jonathon made David’s transition to being king a bitter sweet experience. Jonathon imagined himself by David’s side as he ruled over Israel, but in actuality, all of Saul’s sons were killed except one who escaped and later became crippled. Saul’s disobedience affected the lives of everyone around him and when he died, his legacy went with him. It was truly a very sad ending to what was once a wonderful life.

Be encouraged

When it comes right down to it, in order for God to be for someone, he must be against another. It says in James 4:5 “God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.”  And in Romans 9:13, “Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.

During the final days of king Saul’s life, he had to face off against his worst enemy, the Philistines. The entire Philistine army gathered together and camped on the border of Israel. “And when Saul saw the host of the Philistines, he was afraid, and his heart greatly trembled” (1 Samuel 28:5).

In desperation, Saul had a woman with a familiar spirit, or what we would refer to today as a medium, call up Samuel from the dead in order to get his advice about what to do. “Then said Samuel, Wherefore then dost thou ask me, seeing the LORD is departed from thee and is become thine enemy” (1 Samuel 28:16).

Saul was distressed because when he inquired of the LORD, “the LORD answered him not” (1 Samuel 28:6). Saul’s attempt to get help from Samuel showed that he did not understand that his relationship with the LORD was not based on his effort to communicate with God, but God’s effort to communicate with him. When the LORD had previously given Saul instructions, he chose to disobey and so the LORD stopped talking to Saul and found someone who would follow his commands, David.

Obedience is important in our relationship with the LORD because it establishes the basis for ongoing communication. If the LORD is our Master, then we must obey him. If we do not obey him, then we are making it clear that the LORD is not truly our Master.

While the Philistines were preparing to invade Israel, the Amalekites attacked the city where David and his men were living and took their wives and children captive. “And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters; but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God” (1 Samuel 30:6).

The word translated encouraged, châzaq (khaw – zaq´) means to fasten upon or take hold of. “In the sense of personal strength chazaq is first used in Duet 11:8 in the context of the covenant” (2388). I believe what David did to encourage himself in the LORD was to read the Torah and refresh himself in God’s commandments. David’s recommitment to the LORD included a renewed interest in obedience and seeking God’s counsel in times of trouble.

And David inquired at the LORD, saying, Shall I pursue after this troop? shall I overtake them? And he answered him, Pursue: for thou shalt surely overtake them, and without fail recover all. (1 Samuel 30:8)

All is not lost

When you reach the limit of what you think you can handle and you begin to feel that a situation is hopeless, it is then that you must choose to let yourself sink into depression or hang on to the belief that all is not lost. Even when we know there is nothing we can do to change things, it is still possible for God to step in and rescue us.

The feeling of being stuck in a hopeless situation can be very painful. It is not until we realize that we are stuck that we are willing to ask for help. The reason why I think God often lets us get ourselves stuck is because he wants to move us in a new direction.

After David escaped from Achish the king of Gath, he sent his parents to Moab, the home of his great grandmother Ruth, and he took his men to a hold or fortress where he thought they would be safe. While David was in the hold, it says in 1 Samuel 22:5, “And the prophet Gad said unto David, Abide not in the hold, depart, get thee unto the land of Judah.”

David’s family were members of the tribe of Judah and his family had an inheritance in that land. David had disassociated himself from his inheritance by sending his parents to Moab and taking up residence in the hold. Although the hold felt safe at first, it became a prison that kept David locked up in fear and immobilized in despair.

When David was in the wilderness of Judah, he wrote psalm 63 which begins with the declaration, “O God, thou art my God” (Psalm 63:1). Once David was back where God wanted him to be, his relationship with the LORD was restored and David said, “early will I seek thee” (Psalm 63:1).

I think it is interesting that human nature sometimes causes us to wait until there is no hope left to seek God’s help. We are so used to depending on our own resources and capabilities that we forget there is a God available to us, one that is much better equipped to handle adversity. The word translated seek, shâchar (shaw – khar´) means to dawn and in a figurative sense it implies to be up early at a task (7836). It would be so much better if we would look for God’s help in the morning rather than at midnight, in the middle of a sleepless night.

David used the phrase “My soul followeth hard after thee” (Psalm 63:8) to describe a recommitment of himself to his relationship with the LORD. The term followeth hard means to cling to and is symbolic of glue wherein two things or people are permanently attached as in a marriage bond (1692). This kind of attachment is representative of love, a permanent love that can never be lost.

I love you LORD

The hardest thing to do when you are in the middle of a trial is to believe everything will work out, that eventually the trial will be over and life will return to normal. In one sense, life does not return to normal because trials usually bring about change, either in the individual that is going through it or in the life of that person.

The trials that David experienced before he became king were transformational. As Christians, we know that there is an intentional effort on God’s part to transform us into the image of Jesus Christ. I believe the same is true of David. That is why David is such a good role model, someone that most Christians can relate to.

Some of the key problems that David had are the same problems that everyone has. In the psalms that David wrote, he shared his best and worst moments and did what no one else dared to; he admitted his failures and gave God the glory for all his victories.

The one thing that resonates throughout all of David’s psalms is his love relationship with the LORD. It is clear that David knew the LORD intimately and loved him more than anyone else.

The end

This blog is dedicated to my niece Stephanie who died of a drug overdose this past weekend. She was the victim of child sexual abuse and never recovered from her trauma.

It is hard to explain why Christians don’t always end up with a wonderful life, but there are at least two factors that can cause someone that has submitted his life to God to follow a pathway of self destruction. Everyone has a sin nature that is not changed when a person is transformed by the Holy Spirit and God will not force a person to obey him even if that person has been anointed for a particular job in God’s kingdom.

Saul’s life was derailed when he chose of his own free will to disobey God’s command. His position as king of Israel made him accountable for the destiny of the nation and therefore, God could not just let Saul go his own way. After he let Agag the king of the Amalekites live, God decided to replace Saul with a man whose heart was right toward him, a man who would seek to do God’s will instead of his own. David was a young shepherd when God called him to be king. His defeat of Goliath showed that he was willing to do anything to honor God before the enemies of Israel.

As a result of David’s success, Saul determined that he was a threat that needed to be eliminated. David was certain that Saul wanted to kill him, so he went to Jonathon, Saul’s son for help. David’s plea to Jonathon reveals the love between these two men and the anguish David felt that they could not be friends.

And David sware moreover, and said, Thy father certainly knoweth that I have found grace in thine eyes; and he saith, Let not Jonathon know this, lest he be grieved: but truly as the LORD liveth, and as thy soul liveth, there is but a step between me and death. (1 Samuel 20:3)

Jonathon’s love for David caused him to have to choose between his loyalty to his father and loyalty to David, the man he loved as his own soul (1 Samuel 18:1). After speaking to his father, “Jonathon knew that it was determined of his father to slay David” (1Samuel 20:33).

The word translated determined, kâlâh (kaw – law´) means to end (3615). In Saul’s case, kalah meant that he had made a firm decision. There was no way to change his mind. One of the ways the word kalah is used is to represent “coming to an end” or “the process of ending” (3615). When Saul decide to kill David, you could say it was the end or the process of ending his walk with the LORD. Saul had the potential to rule over Israel for ever, but his stubborn determination to go his own way ruined not only his future, but the future of his son Jonathon as well.